Courage
Tim O’Brien grapples with his emotions and his desires as he faces the difficult decision of whether or not he should go fight in a war for a cause he does not believe in. As he is sitting in the boat, he realizes that his escape to Canada is attainable. The weight of the decision he is about to make causes him to freeze. He confesses, “What embarasses me much more, and always will, is the paralysis that took my heart. A moral freeze: I couldn’t decide, I couldn’t act, I couldn’t comfort myself with even a pretense of modest human dignity” (pg. 54). This admission is so striking because the reaction he had was natural and human. One may even say it was the rational response for someone in his situation. After all, this is a decision that will ultimately decide the course of his life. However, O’Brien looks back on this moment with shame for not knowing exactly what he wanted, as if his lack of bravery to do the nearly impossible was to blame for the moment. It speaks to this idea that