Black With Love

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Johnnie changes drastically in both behavior and emotions from the beginning to the end of “The Outing”. These shifts in his character seem to revolve around his emerging feelings for his close friend David. At the beginning of the journey Johnnie is extremely excited to see his close friend David. It is clear the two boys have a close relationship and are very comfortable around one another. However, the intimate moment in which David asks, “Who do you love?...Who’s your boy?” to which Johnnie responds, “you, I love you” (43) seems to indicate something more than just platonic love between the two boys. After this scene there are small, seemingly insignificant instances in which Johnnie’s feelings seem to blossom. Though they are not indicative of anything in particular on their own, the accumulation of such sentiments begin to collect as the story continues. They become more frequent and more prominent, the most emotional of the moments being when Johnnie looks over at David during the service. While he should be moved by the prayers and worship, instead “from the corner of his eye he watched his friend, who held him with such power; and felt, for that moment, such a depth of love, such nameless and terrible joy and pain, that he might have fallen, in the face of that company, weeping at David’s feet.” This scene is particularly critical because it seems to be when the weight and significance of Johnnie’s emotions finally dawns on him and strikes him with fear. During the service his heart is with David, not his religious family, highlighting the fact that he does not fit in with his group of people.
During the ceremony Johnnie “recognized that he was black with sin, that the secrets of his heart were a stench in God’s nostrils” (50). This once again, is Johnnie realizing the impact that his love for David will have on his entire life. He lives in a world where there are only two types of people, the sinners and the saints. In this black and white world, Johnnie realizes that he cannot choose to acknowledge his love for David because to do so would make him a sinner, perhaps permanently stain his reputation to his family and religious group. He is already somewhat of an outsider, born from the sin of his mother, so he is automatically perceived differently than most boys in his church. Either way, there is no way for Johnnie to really come out on top of his situation. If he admits his feelings for David he will most likely be shut out of the only community he has known his entire life, not to mention there is a chance the feelings will not be reciprocated so he could lose the person he loves most. On the other hand, keeping quiet and adhering to the social standards of his family means that he will never be able to lead a truly happy life, at least in terms of romantic relationships.
By the end of the trip, Johnnie’s mood has dropped significantly and in the last scene when he is once again sitting with David with his head on David’s shoulder he does not feel peace and safety but rather panic and danger. His one truly safe relationship with another person has been derailed by this realization. Additionally, before when the boys were trying to get Sylvia a gift for her birthday Johnnie played along as it was just something that all the boys did together. The action itself had very little actual meaning, however after the service when her name is brought up, “Johnnie swallowed his jealousy at seeing how Sylvia filled his comrade’s mind” (52). It seems as though he was jealous not just because David was interested in someone else, but also because David and Sylvia had an opportunity that he would never get. It would be socially acceptable for them to eventually fall in love and get married, to proclaim that they love each other to their families. However, Johnnie does not have this luxury. He cannot have a life with the person he loves without betraying everything that he was raised to believe. Because of this, he travels home afraid for his future and terrified at the realization of who he will always be in the eyes of everyone around him.

Comments

  1. Nathan DurkinMarch 17, 2018 at 5:21 PM

    I really like how Baldwin writes this part of the story in such a way that it shows us all of these things about Johnnie's character without outright telling us. Yes, his hints aren't the most subtle hints, but that's just something I've noticed in general about Baldwin's writing - he shows us what is happening in a world, and, without explicitly telling us anything, we find out so much about it. For obvious reasons, Johnnie never explicitly states, in or out of his head, his feelings, but what we are shown of his head clearly outlines it for us.

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